Smile - Charlie Chaplin

My parents bought me a ukulele. My parents bought me a ukulele. My parents bought me a ukulele.
My brother is here. My brother is here. My brother is here.
What?

I AM SO HAPPY
THAAAAAAAAANK YOU WORLD
Also, people should smile more.

Now, I shall return to watching Matilda (in Spanish :P) with my bro because he's here.

Dear Maryam

be an individual!
be surrounded by individuals. always

These songs have been on repeat recently

Made In Heights

Yo, check it.
http://madeinheights.bandcamp.com/
New music project by Kelsey Bulkin (the artist I keep ranting and raving about) and her friend Saba.
Loooove it. I think one of the most respectable aspects of music is creating music. Writing music, forming melodies, constructing a song... they're such a special and beautiful things and I'm so happy that people like Kelsey share those talents with the world. Especially her talent... it's raw, new, original, fresh.

I can cover songs, sing operas and scat jazz motives... but I can't write music. Not yet, at least.

Well, I'm writing from the Coast! I've been here since Thursday. First in Milagro to visit Bahieh and now I'm in Chongon visiting Tahereh. I celebrated Christmas with Bahieh's neighbors (my first Christmas dinner!!! Eee!) Ecuadorian style. They celebrate Christmas Eve Eve. I call it Eve Eve because they're up eating dinner at 11pm and don't go to sleep until 3am or so. What a culture. What a life. What fun.

The best part about these winter vacations slash my 10 month time serving here is that all I really ever need to worry about is just my own spiritual growth. I LOVE IT. I'm developing daily routine habits, including praying day/night/afternoon, doing scoliosis/back excersizes thanks to inspiration from a wise old old old old old way old friend (wink wink) and reading something meaningful (usually a Baha'i book) daily. I'm pleased. I'm happy. I'm content.

Now I'm off to eat pizza. YUM.

Burn 2010

Today Paolo told me about a tradition here in Otavalo, a tradition mainly prevalent within the indigenous communities. It has to do with New Years. People make puppets or buy puppets. And then light them on fire and literally take a bat to it, letting all your grievances, troubles and worries of the past year burn away with the puppets.

So, what should I burn?
The only thing I can think of wanting to burn is my course work material from that horrid Women's Studies class I took last semester. But I think I already chucked all evidence of that horrid horrid horrid course. Bleh.

But to be serious, I think I'll try to make a puppet representing doubt. I think this year, that was my greatest weakness. Especially when I doubted my own capabilities. I mean, come on... look at yourself home gurl. You're in a completely different country. Immersed in a different culture and language. Far away from the comfort of your mom's perfect food and your toilet paper flushing toilet. I've got guts. And I'm really proud of that. Doubt only slows me down, limits my capability. So, here's to hoping 2011 is doubt free.

AND THESE ARE SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. DNA art. Genius. Fantastical. So freaking cool.

Look maaaa

Teaching art is really inspiring.
I used watercolor... and amateurism. :)

What Kate Ate jackpot

http://whatkatieate.blogspot.com/
Amazing.
My favorite features in her magazine-blogpost:
http://www.sydneypicnic.com.au/index.php
http://www.thegoodmoodfoodblog.com/
If I were Steve from Blue's Clues and could jump into a book... I'd jump into Kate's magazine. Sigh.

Ecuador chocolate!

I'm pouting... kinda.

Teaching sucks.

And as much as I want to just pout and pout and throw a pity party about it.... I won't. Because pouting is for losers. And I'm not a loser. Just a disappointed non-certified English teacher who caught one of her favorite students cheating during her exam.

The exam was stolen from my office yesterday and passed around. Being a student myself... and knowing the ways of cheating... I wasn't very impressed. They were passing the exam on the floor... foot to foot. WHAT? We had way more clever ways of cheating. The rubber band. The writing on the desk. The secret stretching/coughing/finger tapping/foot tapping code. Really? Everyone knows you don't bring evidence of cheating into the actual exam. Let alone pass it in clear sight??????? CREATIVITY GUYS

Now don't go thinking I'm this huge cheater. I've heard stories. I've been in their situation. A by-passer... watching the cheating happen... and ok sometimes participating. But it's so different being on the other side. Being the teacher. It sucks. And you really really really really have to try not to take it personally.

So currently I am writing a new exam to give tomorrow. It's not about Harry Potter. So I decided to go to the next best thing... jazz.

Also, look at these shoes of Christmas-cuteness-holidays-JOY-winter-ruldoph-frosty-ness. Anthropologie you kill meeeeeeee.

I mean straight up real

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is purity of heart. Purity of mind. Purity of soul. Can you imagine? Your every thought, every action completely free from vain imaginings, from frivolous purpose. Every thought, every action comes from a place inside of you so real, so true to itself, that it cannot express anything but purity. You say everything you mean and you mean everything you say. This is what I strive for every day.

It's like a superpower almost. Although if I were a superhero, I'd probably want the power of learning through osmosis... or diffusion. I'd sleep with a book under my pillow every night. The info would just flow into my brain!

I'm about to give my high school students their final exam. Haha, suckas! But yesterday afternoon I tutored Jin Soo, Fernando, and Orlando in English and Chemistry. It made me sooooooooooooooo happy to be drawing Lewis Structures, molecular geometry, and polarity and other really basic chem stuff. And I explained it all in Spanish. Dr. Pollard would be proud. I also told my one and only chemistry joke... about the electron walking into a bar and asking where his electron went and the bartender asking if he was sure he lost it and the electron saying "I'm positive" BAHA cracks me up every time.

It's raining right now. And I just saw Casablanca for the first time yesterday when I stayed home from school from a sick stomach because I ate something ify in the indigenous community the day before. So with themes of rain and romance in my head....

Best. Website. Ever.

http://whenparentstext.com/

via my brother.

Nerd boyfriend

I'd be ok if my future man chose to dress like a nerd. I'd be ok if my future man was a nerd.

I love Bean.
nerdboyfriend.com

Max Wagner

Huge fan of Max Wagner Photography.

I played frisbee today with my high school students. It was really, really fun! And last night I cooked persian food for my neighbors, Val, and Chantelle (visiting from the Coast). I also wore shorts today. On December 9th, 2010.... I wore shorts. Yes.

Stories I've been meaning to tell

Be prepared for a novel. Gather up some sweets and hot chocolate.

1. I'm so awkward. The greeting custom here is a side-half-kiss-on-the-cheek thing. You do that when you meet someone for the first time and when you greet your friends. I'm pretty used to it, being half persian... but I'm still awkward. I never know if I'm supposed to do the half kiss cheek thing or if I can just get away with a handshake/head nod. So, this week, when I ran into an older Baha'i youth and her husband at the school, I gave her the half kiss and just kind nodded my head at her husband because I'm not as familiar with him but he thought I was going for the half kiss so he leaned a bit forward but then I head nodded instead so he just looked confused and awkward and it was really weird and I just started laughing at myself and walked away half embarrassed, half wishing I lived under a rock.

2. The other week Val and I went to a community to start a junior youth group, but it started torrential down pouring (again). Standing in the middle of the street, looking like we just finished laps, I turned to Valerie and said, "Well. This puts a bit of a damper on things." Hahahahahaha a "damper" on things... because it was wet... damp... he he har har.

3. I went to a waterfall. I sang TLC's Waterfalls the entire time in my head. But it was magnificent, awesome, so COOL and fun. There was a bit of hiking, a bit of rock climbing and a bit of casual walking. All in all, it was a great time.

4. A volcano is erupting in Ambato... a city 5/6 hours away from me where my friend Emily is pioneering. Also, I'm surrounded by three active volcanos. Haaaaaaaaaa (nervous laugh).

5. A chicken walked in through my front door yesterday.

6. Jin Soo is 17 years old. He speaks Spanish, Korean, and a bit of English. He's really bright and really smart. Yesterday he told me that this was his first year at the Baha'i School, so I asked why he switched schools. He said that his mom didn't like the English program at the school he was originally attending and switched schools for the sole reason of putting Jin Soo and his brother Jin (I think their parents really like the name Jin) in a better English program. Well. That back-fired. Guess who his teacher is and guess who knows nothing about teaching English??

7. I spent the past weekend in an indigenous community. Our group of 16 people (three kids) slept in one medium sized concrete room, with plastic bag as the ceiling and wool blankets to keep us warm. The next morning I decided to go for a walk in the mountains area with my prayer book to find a nice spot to think. I wandered around and reached this hidden path and I thought to myself "hidden path, you're about to be found" and I followed the hidden path into this luscious-green-mountain-side-scenery-perfection view. It was the prettiest view I've seen here yet. In my awe, I realized I really had to go to the bathroom (which made sense because the bathroom situation at the concrete room/house wasn't quite glamorous, so I'd been holding it for a bit now). Luckily I had some toilet paper in my pocket (rule #1 of Ecuador - bring toilet paper everywhere you go) so I looked around, contemplating the possibility of going au-natural. But just as I was about to go find a spot to do the deed, something jumped out from the green-lousciousness and I screamed and jumped. I realized it was just a small bird. But the bird wouldn't go away... so I decided to just go to the bathroom back at the house because I didn't feel comfortable going around the bird. Stupid bird.

8. Yesterday, at the Annual Baha'i Convention, I was making some juice. Lime-onade. First I peeled the limes then cut them open to take out the seeds. After that, I put them in a blender. When it came time to blend them, I asked Ellie (the resident chef in our Baha'i community) where the top for the blender was. But she didn't know and told me to just use my hand to cover the top. Well. My hands are small. And they didn't entirely cover the top of the blender. So, I asked Ellie... "como asi? (like this?)" and she nodded her head.... so I turned it on. And you know the rest. The blender shot up lime chunks into my hair, my clothes and the kitchen counters. So embarrassing. At least my clothes smell kinda good.

My home is beautiful

Go James.

Curvy twisted

My spine is being lame again. Incase you didn't already know, scoliosis sucks.
I had a bit of a freak out moment when I looked down as I was showering (sorry for the awkward picture) to see my stomach twisting to the left and my upper body twisting to the right when it felt like I was standing as straight as I could...
But, it is what it is and that's that.
'Abdu'l-Bahá says "to attain eternal happiness one must suffer. He who has reached the state of self-sacrifice has true joy. Temporal joy will vanish."
So I am happily dwelling in my curves and twists. Woo. Suffering. Woo. Positivity.

Also... this caught my attention because I feel like I have this conversation with myself alllllll the time.
Q: 'Can a departed soul converse with someone still on earth?'
A: 'A conversation can be held, but not as our conversation. There is no doubt that the forces of the higher worlds interplay with the forces of this plane. The heart of man is open to inspiration; this is spiritual communication. As in a dream one talks with a friend while the mouth is silent, so is it in the conversation of the spirit. A man may converse with the ego within him saying: “May I do this? Would it be advisable for me to do this work?” Such as this is conversation with the higher self.' -'Abdu'l-Bahá

But it's more like "should you eat that cookie with that fried empenada drenched in nuetella?" Just kidding, I promise I have more profound conversations with myself... but seriously, nuetella is no joke.

Meiko Cover - Reasons to Love You

Nothing like the original, but a fun try. I wish I was a decent ukulele player. But I recently learned that my late Grandpa played one instrument... the ukulele. Now I have a new inspiration to spend more time working with the instrument. Plus, it sounds like Layli's name. UkuLayli.

Something kinda sad is that I'm noticing a significant drop in my vocal skills. This has been the biggest break I've had from any formal singing/training in years. It feels weird... like I'm naked almost. I'm anxious to get back to work when I return to university.

Missing my homeboys from CatCall.

Paul... air guitar? Noooooice. Banana hammock.
Kiss from a Rose (my favorite)
Look for them on iTunes... worth the buy, I promise! Such great arrangements.

Pure love

Ok parents... stop it. You're making my soul explode (I miss you too Gen!!!!)

Obliviate

The consequence of letting a 19 year old American girl teach Ecuadorian high schoolers the most advanced level of English? Harry Potter themed finals. Here's my favorite question on the test so far...
C. Suffixes. Correct the underlined word with the correct suffix and rewrite the sentence.
5. Do you have a prefer in types of wands? Personally, I like unicorn tail.
Tooooo fun! And I'm major girl crushing on Emma Watson. It takes guts to cut off your hair. It takes natural beauty to look good in it too. I like her.

Valerie and I have reached a new level of roommate-ship. Whenever I gooz or she goozes (gooz = fart in Farsi) we glance over to the other, quietly smile and say quite frankly "I goozed." And then we crack up like eight years old. It's hilarious.

Ruh roh

It's like when someone's fly is unzipped. Or there's a juicy, bulging pimple on someone's face. Or corn stuck in between their two front teeth. It's like...you know it's not right to stare, but it's is almost impossible to ignore the disaster happening.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/world/statessecrets.html

Oh snap.

Trying to be fearless

"Don't be too hard on yourself, you are in a new country speaking a new language, surrounded by strangers, far from home, and [most likely] working hard."
Thanks, Andy Lee.

Turkey

That twisted gut wrenching feeling in my stomach is not from the three fried empanadas topped with Nuetella I so happily downed this afternoon. It's the feeling one gets when they are in one place and their family and friends are together in another place... eating turkey (which I actually don't care for... but I wouldn't mind a piece of my Dad/Mom's today), pie, Nana's bread stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, rolls, and more.

But, I have so much to be thankful for... it almost almost out weighs the heavy absence of my dear family today. When I woke up this morning, I didn't realize it was Thanksgiving. I actually didn't realize it until I was down at the park, waiting for my arch nemesis to drive around in the school bus to pick me up. I was just randomly thinking about how incredibly lucky I was to have been born in the family I have now. To be born as a middle child, the only one of us three who knows what it's like to be both a younger and older sibling. To have such a loving father and mother like mine. To have best friends for siblings. To have the Baha'i Faith in my life from infancy. And then it hit me, that today was Thanksgiving. My sneaky subconscious knew it alllllll along!

But I'm very grateful for so much more. Like how I'm going to go see Harry Potter tomorrow in Quito (in English). Also... my hair will look like this tonight for the Day of the Covenant + 19 Day Feast celebration. Bring it on like donkey kong.

Design For Mankind

Thanks for the link to this fantastic blog, BK.

I get to be emo sometimes, ok?

The people I keep closest to me are my heroes and heroines. They inspire my personal growth, make me laugh in countless ways, and pump love throughout my veins so that my even the tips of my fingers feel warm and fuzzy. They are the people I call friends. My friends are strong. My friends are fearless. My friends are brilliant leaders, artistic, joyful. They are the few that I confide in, the few I fully trust and the few that I absolutely adore.

In friendship, I hold incredibly high standards. Too high sometimes. To be honest, I don't even reach my own standards. I guess it gives me a sense of something to progress to... something to always strive for. But as far as my friends go... they don't really know how much I expect from them. And that's really my own fault... I've never been good in communicating my inner thoughts, troubles, and desires in relationships outside of those with my mom, dad and siblings. And, sometimes, even with them I struggle. But my friends seem to somehow get the message and they understand what I need and they care for me (sometimes without me asking) and gain my ever lasting admiration.

My brother commented on my last post, saying he disagreed with my last point "never give up on friendship." I think he's right.

I really don't like it when people write blogs about their personal relationships with other people... it feels like I'm intruding in a personal private bubble or I don't know, listening to a pathetic rant because they don't have the guts to just say it to the person's face. With that said... I'm sorry to those reading who share my opinion.

I once had a friend who was my best and worst friend. It was the shortest friendship I've ever had and the longest imaginary friendship I've ever had. Not imaginary like this is George my imaginary friend who's eating ice cream and telling me stories about sea-monkeys and seaweed but imaginary like I imaged a friendship happening that never really existed. I've been trying so hard to hold on, to disregard the falling short of my standards, still hoping that with time it will get better. But I think I've decided to let go... completely. I can't regard this person as a friend anymore because it wouldn't be right to hold them in the same light as I do my friends, my heroes and heroines. I'm through with the disappointment. I deserve friends who will stand up and care for me and who deserve the same from me.

So, I guess I can say that I've given up on friendship. And I'm not sad about it. Just tired, like the feeling of having a good rest after running.

I get to be emo sometimes, ok?

Reminder to myself

1. Your life = serving humanity.
2. Never pay to use the bathroom.
3. Your parents are always right. Well... sometimes.
4. Smile
5. You're not as important as you think you are.
6. Never give up on friendship.

Zee Avi - Honey Bee

bzzz

TIDE

My favorite things in my house:

This is extra large sized to emphasize how HAPPY I AM TO HAVE TIDE IN MY HOUSEHOLD

Fresh laundry

My parents sent me Tide so I can wash my clothes and not get hives, chocolate covered pretzels, pop tarts (SCORE), medicine for the common hypochondriac, and love. I have the world's best parents. I'm so incredibly thankful for them. I love you guys.

Music of the day: Empire of the Sun

Laugh of the day:

bahahahah oh Val.

This is something I feel strongly about.

Service is more than the physical act of doing service.
It's sacrifice. It's struggle. It's humility. It's heart. You need the meat, the stuff, the substance, the spirit, the soul of service. Without it, you're just going through the motions... an empty meaningless shell.

I'm learning this... I mean, I always knew this. I knew this concept before, but I don't think I ever really truly and fully and heartily applied it. I'm learning this.

I'm going to be a doctor,a person who finds ways to heal the body, a person who sustains the vessel of service, of the spirit and soul. I was always so weary of this... wondering how the heck I'm going to find time to have a family and to serve the world and participate in the activities of my religion. But each prescription and each consultation will be service because I will be helping maintain the physical health of my community, so that the community may arise to help others and serve the world. I'm so exciteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. EEEE Dr. Maryam. Tis me

Also... Valerie and I have an arch nemesis. His name is the bus driver (more commonly known as Sr. Chavez but whatever, common names are overrated). It seems as if the bus drivers here are kinda like the Mafia. They do what they want, which reminds me of my dear half Shannon, which is a fond thought... but the bus drivers do what they want in a bad way and Shannon just does what she wants. Now I'm longing for some diet coke and music from hairspray. Miss you boo

Underwater

Incredible underwater photography from Rachel Koscica, who also models/collaborates for/with the lovely Meredith Amadee. Keep an eye on these two talents.

Glam

Still on my wishing-I-was-a-dancer-or-more-specifically-Ginger Rogers fix...
Happy birth of Baha'u'llah!

Plan C

When I was six, I did a tap routine to Disney's Tikki Room. I wore this red velvet two piece costume with red feathers sticking out here and there. It was so fun and one of my fondest memories dancing. I only danced for like two or three years as a child... but still!

Plan C... study tap and become Ginger Rogers.

Construyendo Comunidad

Can you find me?

Escuela Verano - Chongón 2010

The Layli Monster turns 14 today

¡Feliz cumpleaños hermanita!

I still sleep like this.

Layli made the basketball team at school!!

Such a beast

A Wave of Tenderness

Last night I attended a beautiful Baha'i wedding of the indigenous culture.

The bride and groom wore the traditional indigenous clothing. For the bride; a long fabric skirt, a white-laced-floral blouse, ribboned patterned cloth wrapping around her waste and tied around her long back ponytail. For the groom, white pants, white shirt with a navy blue cloth poncho draped over his upper body (just like the green one Pacha wears in Emperor's New Groove). The wedding party and the majority of the guests followed in this tradition as well.

There were prayers, music, dancing, and words of advise. Afterward, we all took a bus to the house of the groom for the reception. In their courtyard-patio area, they had one table for the bride and groom against one wall, and rows of chairs lined up against the others. They served three plates. Three HUGE plates. And if you didn't eat all the food... well... you're kinda screwed. Also... they served pig intestine. And I ate it. I ate the pig intestine. I thought about my little piglets the whole time. It was quite a difficult experiene for me to be honest. I'm seriously considering cutting out meat from my diet. Buuuuut, I like In and Out too much. And corn dogs. Mmm. Corn dogs.

Anyway, back to recounting the night.... we dancing and laughed and talked and I played tag with Ahmad (5 year old in my kindergarden class) for like two hours (ok maybe just 20 min) and made Mr. Bean faces at Kendy (son of my neighbor) and went on walks and gazed at the night light views and it was a nice night all in all.

The bride had asked me to sing, so I sang. I sang with the uke a piece by Kelsey Bulkin, A Wave of Tenderness. It's a short excerpt from a marriage prayers by 'Abdu'l-Baha but it's absolutely lovely. Here are the words:
Wherefore wed in the heaven of Thy mercy
These two birds
Make them the means of attracting grace
from above
He hath let loose these two seas
that they may meet
That from the union of these two oceans of love
A wave of tenderness
A wave of tenderness
A wave of tenderness
may surge
And cast upon the shore
And cast upon the shore
And cast upon the shore
pearls

So yes obviously my brain is going crazy with all this imagery of oceans and waves and surging tides and pearls along with the fact that it's already going crazy with all this wedding stuff (oh lordy I'm such a girl when it comes to weddings... EEE love). But I was immediately reminded of a collection I saw on Project Runway years ago from Leanne Marshall.

She created a collection based off the colors, tides, waves, and feel of the ocean. It was beautiful and genius and perfect. On the left is her wedding gown and on the right is a bridesmaid's piece. Looking back at her collection set me off on a Leanne Marshall google search and I found some jewels.

The moral of the story: oceans and love are a good mix.