Woes and Ohs

Things here have been crazy. The loops and drops featured in a year-of-service-rollercoaster are arduous. I can't write much about it but I can say that my NGO project unexpectedly and unwillingly halted, despite its thriving rate of potentiality. Needless to say, I'm bummed. Not for the NGO, I never expected it to have such a latent response, but for the reasons it stopped.

I was talking with my friend yesterday, my student Julian actually... but he's more a friend than a student... but anyway, we were talking about many topics but mainly about ma ma ma music.

It's so cliche. Everyone loves music. Everyone is passionate about it which usually makes me want to hate it. But, I can't. Not when it does SO much. So me and emotions don't really work well together. I know when to put aside emotions for the benefit of practicality. Thinking back to the times of my scoliosis brace, I remember feeling the hate for the brace, the self pity, the embarrassment... but those feelings would come in pangs, little twinges, because my determination to deal with it dominated it all.

I like that about myself in ways. It's a confirmation for my medical aspirations. In other ways, it really makes it hard to figure out how I feel about certain things. Especially when it comes to romance. Hopefully I shouldn't have to worry about that because I've got a Persian uncle in Canada hunting down a list of suitors for me. Which, if you think about it, wouldn't make for a bad reality show. 

However, with music... especially when I sing classical music, I release. I actually feel. The thrill of performing comes from being vulnerable. When I perform, I'm exposed. I share a glimpse of my soul with complete strangers. The raw-unfiltered-pure emotion gushes through my veins. Oh the drama, oh the passion, oh the heart.

So... yeah I like music.

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I think this might be Plan D... ballet. But speaking of ballet, I finally saw Black Swan last night. I was watching it on my computer as all the lights were out in the entire city. Probably not the smartest idea I've had... but it was still a great movie. Favorite blog, I love you.